Outrageous Miami Mannequins: A Photo Essay

When I took my first trip to Miami back in December 2011, I was prepared for the people. I knew I wouldn’t be nearly sexy enough to appear local and I was ready to see some scantily-clad high-fashion divas and beach bros. I was not, however, prepared for the ridiculous mannequins. My first day on South Beach I couldn’t stop giggling and pointing at mannequins. Sadly, I didn’t always have my camera with me for some of the truly great ones, but I did manage to get a decent collection.

Excuse the window glare, I was always in kind of a rush and/or tipsy when taking these!

These mannequins have better groomed hair than I do.

Strike a pose in some animal print and giant sunglasses!

Hey girl, I mixed some mad beats for you.

Sexy indian party! you know, just a Tuesday night in Miami.

Damn girl, look at that body. He works out.

I live off Diet Coke and the latest celebrity diet

Let's smoke some pot and listen to Bob Marley while wearing the tightest dresses possible.

Our bodies are so sculpted they are made of gold. It's straight Fort Knox up in this bra!

"I paid extra to make sure they removed some fabric from my dress." "This fedora/sunglasses combo is a seriously lady killing combo"

Kiss kiss, Bobby! Don't you just love my shinylicious lips? Meet me on the playground later and wear something sexy!

Isn't Miami the BESTEST? You have to come back, you just HAVE to!

Rease is a US citizen who fled the Midwest in favor of ex-pat life in Buenos Aires, Argentina. After 1.5 years of living and working abroad, she has recently relocated back to the US for a new adventure that doesn’t involve working in an office. She is bilingual and is very capable of cussing you out in Spanish. She loves gaining and sharing knowledge of local cultures, customs and adventure, and she especially loves getting sassy with anyone who gets in her way. Her favorite place in the world is any artisan ice cream shop in Argentina.